What I learned from Priya Parker

This is the lesson from Priya Parker, author of NY times bestseller The Art of Gathering - it's in her book and it's the main refrain in her newly launched online course that I've been in for the past few weeks.

What does that mean?

In terms of gatherings - it means that you need to be really clear about WHY you are doing something. What is the purpose of this conference? Of this meeting? Of this birthday party?

Of this particular email list, even?

The purpose of a bouncer is to
make decisions.

And with that comes the courage to be disliked.
People can disagree with the decisions made by the bouncer.
As Priya Parker says - purpose is DISPUTABLE -
it may cause controversy.

You can tell when purpose is done well.
A fellow therapist and friend of mine, Robyn Gobbel, for example, is nailing it.

Check out her website, her social media, her programs and offerings and the purpose of her work, and it's so obvious that....well, it GLITTERS!

You can't fake purpose. And you can't please everyone.
We like bouncers when they let us IN because we feel like we belong.
We hate them when they keep us out because - (sticks tongue out at bouncer) we don't like rejection.

But purpose done well lets YOU be the bouncer.
You are the one deciding
is this "for me" or not.
Do I want to participate in this....or not?

And since I decided to reduce the frequency of my emails for the summer - I kept writing that question in my journal.

What is the purpose of this newsletter?
(to inspire people, to help people, to sell courses or spaces in events?)
Actually NO.

The purpose of my emails for the summer, I have decided
is to practice writing.
That's really the reason that I send these emails - because I enjoy writing.
I like to write about things that I am reading and learning and thinking about.

And sometimes people enjoy that.
And the people who don't will be their own bouncer and unsubscribe.
That is what you can expect for the summer.
Musings....snippets from podcasts that I love....excerpts from books.

I am currently re-reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert - because I want to spend time during the summer writing and that book is THE book to remind you that making art is supposed to be FUN.

What stood out this go around with the book was this quote -

"You can live a long life, making and doing really cool things the entire time. You might earn a living with your pursuits or you might not, but you can recognize that is not really the point. At the end of your days, you can thank creativity for having blessed you with a charmed, interesting, passionate existence. That's another way to do it."

I can not think of a better purpose than
"making and doing really cool things the entire time"

As the bouncer, that purpose statement helps me make really good decisions!