How do you measure success?

How do you measure success?

We are typically VERY hard on ourselves. Our brains are sticky for the negative - meaning that even when we do something pretty darn good - we often focus on the one or two things that went wrong.

Unless you're an 8 year old kid. Kids give themselves a lot of credit. My son was in his first local theater production this weekend. When I asked him how he thought it went, he said, "great."
I agreed - it was awesome, actually. He didn't focus on the few things that went "wrong" - and neither did anyone in the audience.

But adults aren't like that. In the past two weeks, I have had grown-ups tell me they felt defeated because they:

a) didn't have as many people as they had hoped for come to an event.
b) had to shift focus from their business to their family
c) weren't being paid what they wanted
d) didn't get chosen for a thing they wanted
e) didn't hit their target time/weight/distance/quota

And on and on and on and on.
A very long time ago, I wrote an article about how to measure progress in therapy. You can read it here, but it talks about looking for changes in frequency, intensity or duration of behaviors.

An update I would (and plan to make) to that article is that you can also measure success by:

a) how often you are taking a risk and trying something new

b) how you recover after a setback

c) how you kept going when you wanted to quit

d) how you set a boundary even if that meant making someone angry with you.

e) when you said no to something instead of stretching yourself too thin.

That is also success, my friends.
It's not all always about the number of attendees, profit margins, personal records, productivity or behaviors.

Famous author of Atomic Habits, James Clear reminds us:
"It doesn’t matter how successful or unsuccessful you are right now. What matters is whether your habits are putting you on the path toward success. You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results."

Measure your success by the quality of the habits that keep you moving forward. There is no finish line. You are never done. As long as you are living, you have an opportunity to keep learning and growing and succeeding in various ways.

Just keep showing up.

Think about a current project or goal that you have set for yourself.

Write it down including the desired outcome.

(Lose 15 pounds. Sell 500 copies of a book. Make a 6 figure salary).

Now, make a list of the HABITS that you need to help you achieve that goal.

(go to the gym 4x/week, talk to 5 people about my book daily, see 25 clients per week, etc).

In your journal, write about what character traits you have that will help you keep up these habits. How have you used them in the past and how can you use them now to keep showing up?